Polla Kamal
The Sky Gave Her Courage
It was spring when people in Kurdistan made a final decision to stand up and confront the human enemies. After Kurdish people took over the authority in Kurdistan by uprising, Saddam sent a big military force to take revenge on Kurdish people. So people started to run, and on the way thousands of people died. Thousands of children couldn’t make it. My mother was about to leave my little sister behind, but the sky and her love didn’t let that happen. An enigmatic power came from a mysterious source and convinced my mom to keep nurturing her beautiful flower because if she gave up on her, the earth would be destroyed.
We were living in hell when Saddam was in charge, and we were like slaves. People were sick of what Saddam was doing, and they said, “We no longer accept this.” It was May 3,1991, when the popular uprising started and people came out on the street like crazy wild animals that ran from their cages. People attacked the military bases and they captured them very bravely, and the army ran away cowardly.
A few days later after the popular uprising, the huge number of military forces came toward Kurdistan to control it again. My father was in the military service at the time. I was four years old, and one of sister was three years old, and other one was two years old. I was playing football with my sisters when people started to panic. I still remember I was about to win the first game in my life, but our game was distracted by the rumor that Saddam’s military was on the way to my town. People believed that would be the repetition of the Anfal process in which 182,000 people vanished without trace. People knew that if they were captured by Saddam’s solider, they would be buried alive or their bodies would be a delicious meal for the dogs around Nwgra Salman Prison in the south. Therefore, everyone was trying to get himself or herself out of the town, and run to the Iran frontier.
My mother didn’t know what to do without my father, and we had to walk about 500 kilometers because we didn’t have a car. My mother got my sisters and me out of my home and started to march toward the mountains. My sisters and I held each other’s hands and as my mom taught us and we used to go to the park. I was confused because I didn’t know what was going on, and I was happy because I thought we were going on a picnic. A surge of families were running toward the mountains just like when a tiger chases a bunch of deer. For me it looked like a marathon because everyone was running to the same direction and no one cared if someone fell down just like in race.
So I asked my mother,” Mom why is every family going on picnic today?” It is the end of the world, and I’m sorry for you because you haven’t lived enough to understand life,” my mother said. I was glad since I was told by my mom that I was going to die because I was going to see God.
We walked a lot, my sisters and I got tired, so we stopped. My two years old sister couldn’t walk any more, and my mother couldn’t carry her because she was carrying my brother and some food. My mother said, “What should we do now?” People were running because the soldiers were chasing them. Some people around us told my mother, “leave her behind, if you don’t, soon Iraqi soldiers will arrive and kill you all, and you don’t have a choice a lot of people abandoned their children too.” My mother’s tears came out like a river, and she asked herself, “How can I abandon my own child?” My mother kissed my sister and gave her affectionate hug as a final one. The hug took forever and then I realized that hug wasn’t normal because it took more than usual.
My sister didn’t know what was going on, and she was just smiling at my mom. She was very quiet; my mother couldn’t leave her when she was awake because she would have chased her. Now my mother abandoned the worthiest and the most valuable thing in her life. The sky seemed to be very angry at my mom when she decided to forsake my sister. Therefore, the sky darkened the day by taking the sun away. My mother’s heart darkened after the sun vanished.
My poor sister nodded off while my mother was singing. My mother put her on a stone, so people could see her easily and she would be saved from animals. She put her on a stone because she wanted people to see her and pick her up for themselves because my mother thought that would be better than her death. She covered her by the only blanket that we brought with us. She left some food with her in order to sustain her longer. She began to pray for her, “God please save my daughter and don’t let her die. Forgive me you know I don’t have a choice please, please God.”
My other sister and I held hands again and started walking. Walking was different this time because we walked without soul, and we walked without my beautiful flower. With every step my mother turned around tearfully to look at my sister. We were far away from my sister about 200 meters when my mother stopped walking spontaneously like somebody made her to stop. She couldn’t walk forward and the only direction that she could walk was backward. Suddenly my mother looked at my sister and ran back to pick her up. My mother looked at her little flower and said tearfully, “I would never forgive myself if I left you here. This is God who wouldn’t let me walk away without you.” The sun suddenly appeared right after my mother picked my sister up.
My sisters and I held hands again as we used to and walked until we arrived to the border. We were happy and preferred to die with each other than separately. We stayed at the refugee camp till the Agreement between the USA and Iraqi government that prevented the Iraqi force to enter Kurdistan. What I have learned from this experience is how to be patient and not give up easily no matter how much the situation that you’re in is difficult. It shows how powerful and influential love is. Since then I have started to believe that real love can protect you from an impetuous decision.